"No way I'm getting in THERE!!!" Sailor Moon shouted as she held onto Artemis for her dear life, irritating the senshi. "You all hate me!!! All those crap about me being the princess and all... you hate me, that's why you're making me go there!!! EVERYONE hates me!!"
   "Don't be stupid, Sailor Moon!" Mars glared at Sailor Moon.  "Not everyone knows you, and good thing too, for the peace of the world!!"
   "WHAT?!!"
   "Oh, for heaven's sake...." the senshi just dragged the unyielding Sailor Moon into the dark portal, and disappeared to North Pole, or wherever, where Queen Beryl was waiting for them...

   "But I was NOT! I'm not even ready here!!" Queen Beryl complained as the screen zoomed onto her ugly self.  Quickly the make-up crew covered her with powder and left, leaving her to choke on the dust.  "Why would I be waiting for that brat, anyway?"
   "Well, too bad! Hurry up and get ready with that Tuxedo Kamen thing!"
   "Yeah, it's your problem." Michelle and Cheryl retorted as they left the cave-like palace with some nasty remarks.  Queen Beryl closed her eyes for a second, to THINK. (Michelle: WOW!!)  Okay, think of a good idea, a good idea.....suddenly, a light bulb appeared on her head as she thought of something.
   "Wo-" Michelle's second 'wow' was interrupted by Cheryl and Beryl whacking her with inflatable hammers.
   "Oh, great Negaforce," Beryl intoned, while Cheryl dragged her partner off the screen.  "Give me the strength... the wisdom... the power... the luck... the money... the good looks..."
   "GET ON WITH IT!!!!"
   "Oh, fine!" Beryl scowled.  "...to choose a really bad guy to kill off all the senshi."  She pulled a hat out from under her throne and began fishing inside.  "Hmm.. let's see here, a Cardian... daimon egg... mirror paradory... aha!"  Beryl pulled out a small business card that read:

    "Perfect!" Beryl cackled, then touched her crystal ball to conjure a telephone.
    "Hello, Doom N' Gloom Girls, Evil Pink Youma speaking."
    "Hello, I'd like to place an order for some bad guys to deal with some pesky senshi."
    "Wonderful!  We have a special sale going on right now: 5 youma for the price of one!"
    "Yes!  I'll take five, then."
    "Okay, your total for today's purchases will be $75.38."
    "WHAT?!?!?"
   "Oh wait, I'm sorry..."  Beryl breathed a sigh of relief.  "I forgot to add the tax.  Your total is $97.84."
   Queen Beryl, sweatdropping, was frozen with shock.  "$97..."
   "And 84 cents."
   Suddenly Beryl stalked offscreen and dragged the two authors back into the picture.
   "Hey!"
   "What is the meaning of this?!?!"
   "Oh shut up for a moment and gimme some cash."
   "HUH?!?!" Both authors said, sweatdropping.
   "Look, I'm a little low, and I need some money to buy some youma for today's episode."
   "Can't you go without it for one day..." Michelle demanded, irritated.
   "No, we have to get the FDA requirement of at least one bad guy per episode..." Cheryl replied.  Sighing audibly, she pulled out a few hundred dollars from a wallet and handed it to Beryl.  "Will this be enough?"
   "Okay."  Beryl rushed off eagerly, not mentioning what the bill really was.
   "Hey, wait a second... aren't the Doom N' Gloom girls having a 5-for-one sale today?" Michelle pointed out.
   "Hmm... Oh well, it was your money, anyway..."
   "WHAT?!?!?!"
   Beryl resumed sitting on her throne, ignoring the sounds of Michelle beating up her partner and Cheryl's cries for help.  "Now I can watch my Slayers tapes..."  She eagerly put the tape she had just bought into the VCR and began staring at it.  "Cool..."
   "Um, hello, is this the Dark Kingdom?" a pink youma asked.  The five stood in front of Beryl's throne as she sighned and turned the t.v. off.
   "Yeah, you must be the Doom N' Gloom Girls.  Okay, here are the senshi," she said, motioning towards a map.  "And here are we," Beryl said, pointing at the dot that said YOU ARE HERE.
   "Okay..."
   "And first you have to kill off Jupiter... according to the script... she leaves the fanfic about here..." Beryl explained, pointing at the mark that said JUPITER LEAVES HERE.
   The youma yawned and nodded, sort of listening and sort of wishing they could just beat up Beryl themselves and take the throne.  Then they remembered the contract as two little angelic forms of the authors appeared next to their heads.
   "...And here's the O... and here's the X where Moon gets carried away..."  The youma stared blankly.
   "And then since there are two O's in a row here, we have to block with an X here..."
   The authors whacked Beryl on the head.  "Quit playing Tic-Tac-Toe and get moving!"  The youma left, sweatdropping.
 
   The senshi were beginning to ponder whether it was wise to come here in the first place, as it was beginning to get cold, and nothing special was spotted for the last 1 minute.
   "What is that?" Rei pointed at a figure that was in front of them.  The fog soon cleared, to reveal the figure as
   "Tuxedo Kamen Tacky Doll!  Mine, mine, ALL mine!!"  Sailor Moon frantically reached for the doll, but Jupiter stopped her with a determined face. (More like 'stood on top of her as she knocked Moon down' rather than 'stopped', but...-Cheryl)
   "No, Sailor Moon....I can't let you do that...." Jupiter whispered, and
glared at Tuxedo Kamen with intensity.  "It's MY turn to beat him up!!!  He got of easy a few episodes ago!  Here I go!!" Charging forward, ignoring the sign that read, 'JUPITER LEAVES HERE,' she pushed all her 'allies' out of the way.  Jupiter swung her fist around, then discovered something...her body was STUCK to a dark hole.
   "A MOLE hole?  Here in North Pole?  NO WAY!!!!" Irritated, she tried to get out of there, other senshi just looking on.
   "Oh, what are you dorks staring at?  Help me OUTTA here!!" finally becoming aware of the fact that they could HELP her, the senshi grabbed Jupiter's arms and started pulling her, with not much success.  It was then when they noticed the Tuxedo Kamen tacky doll started to dissolve, to reveal five youmas with lame colors.
    "We're the Doom and Gloom girls..." said a green one.
    The pinkish one, who seemed like the leader, whacked the other on the head.  "It's Doom N' Gloom Girls, dork!"
    "Fine, you do the introductions!" the green youma replied, rubbing her head.
    "Okay... well... er... we don't really have a Japanese name, so let's skip that one...and....DIE!!" swinging their fists
ferociously, the youmas charged toward Jupiter, who was still struggling to get out of the hole.  Dumbfounded, the senshi just stood still, not knowing what to do.
    "Cut!" Michelle shouted furiously as she jumped into the paused screen and dragged the bad guys to the corner, where Cheryl was waiting.  "Now, if you guys would just look at the contract..." Cheryl held it out for all of them to see.  It read:

    "Doh....so, we can't have a fist fight?" the yellow one let out a sigh of dismay, while M&C kicked all of them to the center of the screen to get on with the show.
   "Okay, we're back....those lame authors...now, be GONE!" the greenish one shouted as it charged toward Juptier once more, this time electricity surrounding her.
   "Daaaah!!" spotting all those flashy lights, and reminded of a scary transformation, the Sailor Senshi chickened out and scattered, leaving Jupiter stuck in the hole.
   "Jupiter Thunder Crash, Jupiter Thunder Crash, Jupiter Thundner Crash, Supreme Thunder, Jupiter Thunder Crash, Supreme Thunder..." when her attack didn't work (just as usual), she looked back at her 'comrades' for some support, to only find them behind rocks.  "Traitors!! @#$&^$*&!!!!" then, spotting the youma's tentacles reaching out for her, Jupiter panicked.
"Jupiter, Jupiter...nyah!!! Jupiter Thunder Crash!! Jupiter Thunder Crash!"

   "Are you sure she'll be okay until we're done with watching Monty Python? She seems to be having a little bit of trouble there..." casting a worried glance out the window, Cheryl asked Michelle, who was munching on popcorn.
   "Of course I'm sure! What else can she be, anyway?" Never taking her eyes off of the TV set, Michelle replied bluntly.  "Just two more hours, and THEN we can tell her that she forgot to put her antenna up..."

   "DAAAAAH!! Help me!" Jupiter screamed as the tentacles FINALLY tightened and hurled her high into the midair. (Michelle: Hey, at least we're going with the original story on that high-air one!) The senshi came out of their respective hiding places, and realizing that THEY were safe, started dancing around as they shed tears of joy.  On their count of 3, the tentacles threw
Jupiter out of the script, making the remaining senshi even more ecstatic, now that they could get more show-time of their own.

    "Well, think of it this way!! One down and only four more to go!!" Michelle tried to convince Cheryl, who had just discovered that Jupiter was out of the fanfic.  "It wasn't THAT bad..."  But, despite her effort, Cheryl's whacking continued mercilessly... ::whack whack whack...::

    "Look!  Over there!" Mercury pointed.
    "Where?" Venus questioned.
    "There, there!"
    "I don't see anything..."
    "There's something there, I can feel it!" Mercury cried, crossing her fingers.
    "Okay... so what do we do about it?" Moon asked.
    Mercury started running off without them.  "I'll check it out, I'll be safe, just stay here or go on or something!" she shouted behind her.  'Hehehehe...' she mentally giggled.  'Now I'm home free- I don't have to go on this stupid mission anymore...'
    Suddenly three youmas appeared before her.  "What do you want now?" she demanded.
    "Uh... we're here on official business," one replied.
    "Well, look, you can tell Beryl or Metallia or the Negaforce or the Sheriff of Nottingham or whatever it is you're working for that I'm leaving.  Okay?"
    "Eh..."  The first was at a loss for words.
    "Well, we need to stick to the script," another piped up.
    "Yeah, that's it, the script!"
    Mercury held up her own copy of the script for the episode.  "Too late, you've already screwed it up.  You're supposed to pretend Greg is here, try to trap me with some sort of lava bubble, and boot me out of the script.  So I'll help you this once.  I'll leave, you pretend I'm dead, and you can go on and do the world a favor and kill Sailor Moon.  Deal?"
   "Umm... sure."  The three youmas left, and Mercury began to walk away.
   "Hey!  Come back here!!!"
   "Traitor!"
   "Coward!"
   "Uh-oh..." Mercury began running away from the three angry senshi.  "I'm destined to leave, anyways!" she cried.
   "Too bad!  Fire soul!"
   "Mercury Bubbles Blast!"  She quickly turned and hurled a half-empty bottle of diluted bubble mixture at the flames.  "I KNEW DiC diluted our attacks!  This proves it!"
   "Well, your luck's run out, traitor!  Crescent Beam!"   Venus pointed her finger at Mercury, expecting a yellow-hot beam to strike.  Nothing happened.  Everyone sweatdropped as she examined the small penlight tied to her finger.  "Hey, where'd my batteries go?!?!" she demanded.

   Cheryl was washing the dishes as Michelle listened to anime music on her Walkman.  "MUCH better," she commented.
   "Oh, what was wrong?"
   "The batteries were dead- I just borrowed Venus's for a while.  They're really strong."
   "Hmmm..." Cheryl went back to washing the dishes.
   "Didn't you say that you forgot to buy some more dish-washing detergent?"
   "Yeah... Mercury had a spare bottle, so I took the stronger fomula.  Just right."
   "Cool."
   The two went back to their own business.

   'Gotta lose them... gotta lose them...' Mercury desperately thought, her former teammates hot on her trail.  "I got it!" she cried.  "SHABON SPRAY!" She turned around in circles, expecting a thick fog to rise.  Nothing happened.  "Hey!  What the...!"  Mercury exclaimed as the super-pissed off senshi beat her up.
   "Okay, that's it!!!  Nobody, and I mean NOBODY beats up the all-powerful senshi, Sailor Mercury!"  The others sweatdropped.  Mercury raised her arms as if to perform some new super-attack, when suddenly a crane, with Cheryl and Michelle at the controls, hooked Mercury by the collar of her uniform.
    "Hey!  What the-!" she cried as they raised her up and dragged her out of the picture.  The senshi sweatdropped even more.
    "We're not done with you!"  Mars cried, but Mercury was already out of the picture.
    "Hmm...that's that..." Venus murmured, who wasn't very disappointed at Mercury's disappearance, because she was just so happy that she had even MORE room now, since both Jupiter AND Mercury were gone.  'If only I can get rid of the other two as well...' a dangerous thought passed her mind when she saw the ground right next to Sailor Moon turning red.
    "Sailor Moon!  Watch out!!" Venus pushed Sailor Moon toward the reddening ground as she shouted, hoping that her ‘friend’ would be gone forever.
    "What? What?" Dumbfounded, Sailor Moon looked around her, and spotted the red thing by her feet. "Oh cool, are those spotlights?"
    "WHAT?!  Well, get out of there, then! It’s MINE!!" Venus pushed Sailor Moon out of the red spot this time, and stood on it herself.  "Hey, how do I look?" was the last word Venus said before the hole opened and engulfed her in seconds.
    "Venus!!!  Yeeesssssssssss....  I mean, nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" Moon screamed from the outside.
    "Oh, cut it out, will you?" Mars slapped Sailor Moon on the head hard, glaring.  "Even those lame authors figured out that you were just acting!!"
   Moon was silent.  ‘I guess I should have taken more acting classes, hmm..."

   "She keeps calling us ‘lame’!!!" Michelle finally exploded.  "Let’s go and kill her!"
   "You’re scaring me!" Cheryl murmured, and looking at her copy of the script, grinned.  "Don’t worry, Michelle.  It’s her turn this time."
   "Cool!! I’ll make sure that we get rid of her by ourselves THIS time." Evil laughter followed.

   The road ahead was blocked by two youmas.  "Oh no!" Sailor Moon whispered and hid behind Mars, using her as a shield.
   Mars defiantly stood up, facing the last two youmas with a serious expression on her face.  "It's time for me to go..."  (*thinking*-Jesus, this fanfic is so screwed-up, at least I should to something decent around here...)
   "Oh no Mars!!" Moon quickly thought of the situation as she held onto Mars. 'Oh no, who's gonna protect me if THIS brat is gone, too?  I've got to hold on to her for sure!'
   "Don't worry Sailor Moon- since I'm the strongest of all senshi, I'll survive." With these final words, Mars stepped up and gathered her fingertips.  "Fire..."  Then feeling a sensation near her foot, she stepped aside to see what was going on, only to be tripped and land head-first on the ground, right next to giggling Moon.
  "What was THAT for?" Mars angrily glared at Sailor Moon's stretched leg, the cause of her fall.
   "Well, OBVIOUSLY, you just made me upset, DUH!" Sailor Moon retorted. "I’m THE strongest, you know!"  The youmas started to sweatdrop, watching the scene the senshi were making in silence.
   "No you’re not!! See here?  It says I’m the strongest!!" Mars held out the script for Moon’s convenience.  "See?  SEE?"
   "Oh, then how come I’m always the one to save earth at the end?"
   "How in the world am I supposed to know THAT?!  Maybe the authors are too dumb to notice that I’m the one to be..."
   "BOO!!" a loud noise was suddenly heard from the sky as it started to darken and rain.  The four stared at the now thundering sky, and the two youmas chickened out and ran away, while Moon held onto Mars tightly.
    "Cut with those cheap crap, will you?!" Mars screamed.  "You are not doing any good!"  The hands that were being formed with the thunder came to a halt a this comment, and dissipated.  Two beings suddenly emerged in front of the two senshi, this time scaring Mars as well.
    "I TOLD you we should have consulted to the director of ‘Ten Commendments’ first before using that hand technique!" Michelle scowled at her partner.
    "It’s CommAndments.."
    "Be quiet!  I’m talking here!"
    "And what, were we supposed to ask GOD for permission first?"
    Michelle whacked her partner.  "Forget it, and get ready with the reason for taking her out already!!!"
    Cheryl sulked.  "FINE," she said, and pointed at Mars.  "Mars, you’re out."
    "Me?" Mars’s brows rose in a mocking tone.  "Don’t you mean HER?"  she pointed at Moon.
    "HEY!!!"
    "Um... no, you.  First of all, you REALLY ticked us off by saying we suck," Cheryl said.
     "Second...nyah, it’s too long to say, and I’m tired.  You’re out," they took out the vacuum they have been using to get rid of generals, just so that they could make some use of it, now that all four generals were gone.
    "NOOOO!!" Mars cried as the authors towed her away with their vacuum. "You can't do this to me!!!!!"
    Moon stared at her unyielding friend when suddenly Cheryl came back, without Michelle or Mars.  "Wait a second- you can't stare during death scenes with pupils in your eyes," she said.
    "Huh?!?!?!"
    Cheryl reached over and splashed some eyedrops into her face.  Moon choked and gagged, while the author peered into her eyes.  "Good, much better," she commented, noticing that her pupils had expanded until you could hardly tell they were there.
Moon turned back to the sky with her now-pupilless eyes, and shifted the view to the clear sky.