It was yet another sunny day outside in Tokyo. Don't animators ever get sick of sunny days? Anyway, with some so-called cookies, Usagi hopped over to Mamoru's apratment.
        "Hi Mamo-chan!" Usagi sang as she burst into the room and settled herself by the table. She took out the terrifyingly evil-black-looking cookies of doom.
        "They are a little-tiny-very unnoticeably-dinkily- a bit burnt, but that's okay, 'cause I put lots and lots of love into it! Anyway, will you please marry me? Of course I'm only like 14 and you're like 35, but that's okay! Would you pretty please?" It was not until then she finally noticed the emptiness of the room. Tears started welling up in her eyes as she realized that Mamoru wasn't home.
        "Crybaby. What a dope," the three authors chanted, and Usagi turned around angrily. "Hey, I heard that! Get lost or I'll make all of you eat my cookies!"
        The threat was more than enough to chase the interfering authors out of the story. Usagi went back to being sentimental with a cheezy background music, and picked up some books that lay on the table.
        "The Cat in the Hat, Mousse's Stupid Tricks for Throwing Roses, Minky Momo, Sweet Mint, Corny Speeches for Dummies..." Usagi read the titles as she felt like crying even more. "Since Mamo-chan is in college, his level of reading books are so high...compared to him, I'm only so pretty and so perfect! I cannot match with him, oh no!" The tears finally burst out and the unbelievably irritating wail rung throughout the SM:TMT office.
        "Darn it, someone stop her! That is SOOOO annoying!" Michelle, who gets annoyed easily, frantically threw bunch of BiC pens at her companions. Cheryl and Meeshy quickly drew up Mamoru and tossed him into the story fast, not giving a second thought about what HE wanted to do. Who cared about the jerk, anyway?
        "Um....hi Usagi, why are you crying?" Not sure if he really wanted to know, Mamoru asked Usagi ever so slowly. What did he do to deserve this almost every episode, anyway?
        "Oh, Dari- I meant, Mamo-chan, I failed in being your wife!!" Usagi 'boo-hooed' and offered the cookies she'd brought. "Aren't these too perfect?! I'm sorry I can't match up with you!"
        Mamoru sweatdropped. "Uh...sure...no problem. Anyway, don't cry... uh... I like the way you are now....I think." He quickly covered the script and cursed it under his breath for saying the exact opposite of his real thought. Resisting a growing temptation to add a small 'not' after it, he offered to do the ultimate sacrifice for the world. "Uh...here, let me try one of your cookies..."
        "Mamo-chan, I love you!!" For a brief moment, Mamoru was overcome with terror as he was reminded of the oh-so-cute voice that ran in the Moon family for generations, but shrugged it off. Didn't something bad like this happen to him in every episode, anyway? He quickly took a bite, and made a little funny face. "Ur...they are...ok...I think...maybe..." he managed to say through clenches teeth, suddenly feeling a funny sensation in his stomache.
        Usagi got up and started dancing around the room. "Great! Now I can go over to my friends' house and show off this brilliant skill I possess!" Absorbed in her own speech, Usagi did not notice Mamoru clutching his stomach in the background.
        Usagi went on. "Yes, I knew I had to be talented in SOMETHING! My fellow senshi would kick me around for having no talent for absolutely nothing at all, but now they will see the true horror my lovely skill can do on people!!" Meanwhile, Mamoru tried hard to catch his breath many times before passing out.
        "I love you, Mamo-chan! I'll see you around when I feel like it, okay?" With that, Usagi hopped away cheerfully, while an ambulance dragged Mamoru away.

        "...so you see, he said my cookies are to DIE for!!" Usagi proudly held up the cookies still left over from Mamoru's place. "Why don't you guys try some?!"
        Usagi's fellow senshis looked distrustful. Were they supposed to take Mamoru's word literally or figuratively? Actually, why would anyone try to trust Mamoru's demented taste in the first place? Noticing her friends face-fault, Usagi cheerfully said, "Come on, it's not like it's poisoned or anything! I made it!!"
        Some brief moments passed in silence and sweatdrops filled the air. One by one, the senshi started slipping away from the park bench.
        "Uh...I have homework for next month to do...."
        "I have to go find more guys to beat up..."
        "And I have to feed my do- err- cat! See you guys around!" With that, Ami, Makoto, and Minako left in a hurry. Rei jeered as Usagi burst into tears again.

        "There's an evil force in this town. There is no mistake about it- and when these forces get stronger, the monster attacks people," Haruka paused for a moment, then said, "which is actually good for us. Without those daimons, we would have never gotten jobs as senshi."
        "I agree. The authors are so good to us, they give us allowance for every episode we appear in! Without part-time jobs like this, who can afford the million-dollar condos like ours, anyway?" Michiru nodded her head.
        "If we only knew who the owner of the talismans were..."
        "But we have to make sure we do our mission very slowly and inefficiently. We don't want to lose our jobs by taking care of this matter early, do we now?" Michiru cleared her throat as she felt the authors' glare, and turned a bit more serious. "I understand the owner of the talisman will die if we get them back to the rightful owner, but oh well, that's okay, because what with the money we need for our condos and cars, we definitely need to go around killing off some people!" There was a big 'wham' as three inflatable hammers hit Michiru down on the ground, head-first. Haruka stared in horror as 3 pairs of eyes glared at the two outer senshi one last time, and disappeared.
        "Um.....uh....oh well." Michiru stammered, slowly recovering and at the same time grasping her oh-so-loved violin. She started playing it, which always seemed to play the perfect long tunes even when the bow was moving up and down like 50 times.

        Usagi was sulking around the park with the cookies none of her 'friends' would try on, when she heard the melody of the violin Michiru was playing. "How lovely! Perfect for a princess like me," she said outloud and advanced toward the sound.
        Suddenly, Haruka felt chills down her stomach. "I feel something evil approaching..." She turned around to face Usagi drooling all over, and sweatdropped. "What do you want?"
        "Oh, nothing! Um...I was just envying you guys. You two are so perfect in every aspect! Compared to you, I am so beautiful, talented, lovely..."
        "Stop lying through your teeth and get to the point!!!!!!" Meeshy and Cheryl yelled off the screen, while Michelle fainted due to rising blood pressure.
        "Fine! Selfish idiots." Before the authors could protest, Usagi said quickly, "ImadethesecookieswhichIthinkarereallyreallygoodit'sjustthatnoonewantsitand my point is, do you want one?"
        Haruka stared at Usagi briefly, at the cookies, then back at Usagi. Ever so slowly with doubts written all over her face, Haruka picked up the cookies that looked like a tank had ridden over it.
        "It's a bunny-shape! Isn't it sooooo perfect?!" Haruka puked at the taste briefly, then decided it was not THAT bad, and gulped it down. Suddenly, she rose up from her seat as if hit by a lightning bolt, and ran for her motorcycle. "I forgot to do something! I'll catch you two later!!!" And Haruka took off in the direction of what seemed very much like the bathroom. Michiru stared after her friend with a worried expression, then freaked out as the cookies appeared in front of her own eyes.
        "Would you like one also?!" Usagi asked cheerfully.
        "Oh no! Err...I meant, I just had breakfast....I mean, lunch, and it's good to be young...and I gotta do my mission before I die.....my point is, I gotta go!! But I'll give you this instead." Michiru tossed two tickets to a violin recital that night. "I'm sorry I can't try out your cookies. Bye!" And Michiru took off as well. Usagi sulked for a brief second, then returned to her 'Oh well' thought. She'd have FUN with Mamo-chan tonight.

        "Hi, this is Da- err- Chiba Mamoru speaking. I'm not available right now either because I'm out trying to save the earth from evil forces without much success. I could also be out practicing flips in air, or writing down cool speeches to say for other episodes. I also specialize in throwing roses as well as growing some red roses during the winter. So call me, if you want some! 1-800-Cape-Boy. Oh wait, what am I saying here...BEEP!" Usagi fumed as she put the receiver down. "This isn't fair, and I just baked more cookies so we can have a swell time together at the concert! Man," She sighed for a second as tears tolled down her cheeks. "Oh, Mamo-chan...." After 0.001 milisecond of sentimental air, Usagi lifted her fists toward the sky and yelled,
        "What do you mean he's not available?! Demented authors, you! I always knew you three were jealous of me because I have such a cool boyfriend and you don't!" Usagi could have sworn she heard some bickering, but she decided to ignore it. "Give him back to me!!!"
        "Err..." Cheryl scratched her head. Let her go out with Mamoru, he'd die, this not being available anymore to be kicked around. Don't let him go with her, they'd probably have her wailing all day and night until she saw the guy again.
        Mamoru in his hospital uniform crawled over to Meeshy. "Meeshy-sama, please let me stay!! I really can't stand her!!"
        "I heard that, you totally inconsiderate, twisted two-timing idiotic jerk!!" Usagi yelled off-screen, and Mamoru now grabbed Cheryl as well. "Cheryl-sama!! Meeshy-sama!! Author-samaaaaaasss!!!!"
        "Shut up, we can't hear ourselves think!!" They both yelled and kicked Mamoru away.
        "Talk about authors. Where is Michelle, anyway?"
        "Shh!!! Michelle just got carried off to the clinic, and she's super pissed off," Cheryl whispered, and lowered her voice even more: "Her boyfriend told her to get lost."
        "Oh my gosh, really? How good for him!" Meeshy seemed elated for the guy's sake as the word 'evil' popped up in her head briefly. "Err...okay...never mind. But why?"
        Cheryl shrugged. "Don't ask me, but she seemed pretty pissed off in every way possible. That's probably why Mamoru just can't recover today."
        "Well, there is always a secondary method in an emergency situation like this," Meeshy offered kindly. "Especially since this is a case dealing with a jerk like Mamoru, it can be very easily taken care of. I mean, what kind of thing he does can affect a whole episode, anyway?" Endless applauds and whistles were directed toward Meeshy as Usagi took off, stomping.

        That night, the inner senshi got together in the Music Hall, hoping to apologize to Usagi. "I think we may have been too hard on her..." Minako commented.
        "Ya think?! Me so sorry!!! Me wanna say sorry Usagi!"
        "Mako, English, please,"
        "Oh, that. Sorry, I got carried away."
        Some silence followed the corny moment, and Ami soon broke it with a "You guys, I've got it!"
        "Got what?" The inner senshi peered over at the genius senshi and her mini computer.
        "Well, according to my analysis, the synchronization between Usagi and Virtue of Cooking is precisely 0.000001%. If I assumed that elements Usagi had used in the mixture of flours and such all covalently bonded for some reason, and if they lost their unique characteristics in which the backup-" Ami stopped and sighed upon looking up to find dumbfounded faces. "Basically, Usagi's cookies were very dangerous for us. It's a good thing we all refused to eat them, harsh or not."
        "Geez, we really couldn't have guessed," Rei snorted briefly and saw Usagi coming up with something heavy in her arms. "Uhh...what's that?" She asked when Usagi reached them after a few trippings.
        "Oh, it's a Mamoru cardboard-cutout," Usagi replied casually as she placed it down on an empty seat. "Sucks, not as good as the original, but that's okay!"
        "Oookay...." The senshi sweatdropped.

        From the 'Special Guests' seats, meanwhile, the two outer senshi were watching the girls with vast amusement written all over their faces.
        "That's one cool looking guy," Haruka commented.
        "Uh....aren't you supposed to be gay?" Michiru peered in inquiringly.
        Haruka sweatdropped, then put out her index finger, Xelloss-style (Slayers). "That's not very important right now!" She defended herself.
        "What is, then?"
        "Oh, look, the show is starting..." Haruka tried to change the subject as the stage surely darkened and curtain rose. Suddenly, a shriek from the very front seat was heard as a daimon appeared out of the violinist's violin.
        "Mwahaha!! I want your pure heart crystal!!!! Give me yours, if you have one..." The daimon trailed off as it whacked the violnist unconscious and grabbed the heart crystal in a hurry.
        "Oh no you don't!" Sailor Moon said as other senshi appeared alongside her to assist her. "The beautiful Sailor Team will punish you!"
        "While there's life, girls will fall in love," Venus commented, and shuddered as she realized they were already fighting. "Hey!! That's so unfair!!"
        The inner senshi were struggling (as usual) as the daimon started singing really off-key. "Deep Submerge!" "World Shaking!" Suddenly, two cool globes of energy came out of nowhere and attacked the daimon, killing it. After the taller figure examined the talisman, she tossed it on the ground, and said, "Damn, not this one either."
        "I know, and we were supposed to get a bonus as soon as we find the real one sometime!!" the shorter one pouted.
        "Uranus, Neptune, who are you?" Sailor Mars asked.
        "Don't ask us anything," Uranus replied back coldly.
        "What is the talisman?! Please!!" Venus pleaded, extra-dramatically, since this was her last line of the day.
        "Look, if you want to know, use your own power and money to find out! Do you know how many countries we had to wander around just to gather all this info, and how much it took to afford all that plane tickets-" The senshi sweatdropped as Uranus whacked Neptune on the head and took off with her.

        Once outside, the inner senshi yawned. "So, what are you guys gonna do? Mamoru obviously can't treat us to a nice restaurant like the original script."
        "Which is exactly why I made these new cookies today!" Usagi said and held up another bunch of cookies. "They are a bit more burnt than the last time, but it's okay, right? I don't know what it tastes like, but.....guys?" Usagi called out as she noticed her friends all screaming and running away in the direction of their respective homes. "Heeeey!!! Not faiiiiirrrr!!!" Usagi started wailing again.

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